Half an hour in the shower’s not too long,
To spend time with your favorite song.
Classic rock tunes or not
It still gets my best shot
’Cause in the shower there’s no bad, right or wrong.
“There’s no half-singing in the shower. You’re either a rock star or an opera diva.” – Josh Groban
So, lather up. Pick out a tune. And belt it out.
Sung to the tune It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas:
It’s beginning to look a lot like April
Ev’rywhere we go;
‘Take a look at our patio, actually free of snow
There’s bushes to trim and lots of leaves to blow.
It’s beginning to look a lot like April
But the prettiest sight we know are the plants we know will grow
In our own…clay…pots.
A couple I know, Virginia and Frank Lee, when he criticizes her, she gets to say to him with Clark Gable swagger, “Frank Lee, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
If a woman had to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base – Dave Barry
Wabi-sabi – the celebration of the beauty that comes from the natural decay of the world around us, not to be confused with kemosabe which is the name Tonto had bestowed on the Lone Ranger.
I’ve never liked the sound of the word plethora. It just seems to roll off the tongue wrong. And it makes the user sound pretentious. Plethora. I think the word anexcessiveamount sounds better.
I always wear a cut-resistant glove when I’m slicing and dicing which I think is absolutely an essential item in every kitchen. I’ve presented many dishes to my guests with fingers that are taped up due to cutting accidents. It’s not usually my knives that are the culprit- it’s my vegetable slicers (swivel and Y peelers) and my box graters. But by far the most dangerous is my mandoline slicer.
You need to protect your hands and keep your fingertips intact. Cut-resistant gloves can do this, and it only takes a second to slip one on. They are cheap (about $10 a pair), and you can throw them in the clothes washer when you’re finished. So, please stay safe. Buy and use the glove.
What is virtue?
What is moderation?
What is justice?
What is good?
What is courage?
What is piety?
What is for dinner?
The dandelion puff is just dandy, isn’t it?
“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.” – Dave Barry
Do cows carouse when our backs are turned?
Do they espouse a secret lifestyle?
By breaking vows when time allows
At least for a relatively short while.
Because (as Jimmy Buffett says), “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.” Along those same lines, “I eat cake fairly often too, because I’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.” – Aunty Acid
I’ve even delivered some of my most insightful observations and thought-provoking material to cats, and all I’ve ever gotten in return was this ALOOF ATTITUDE and PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DISMISSAL that said, “YEAH, RIGHT.” – Bob Miller
But “you can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, ‘MY GOSH, you’re RIGHT! I NEVER would have thought of that!’” – Dave Barry
There are over 550, and as of this moment there are probably people out there breeding more. It’s this type of information that keeps me awake at night.
A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”
“Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. One mistake or bad decision and the web unravels and I fall. The pressure is affecting my home life. I snap at my children, and I don’t think my wife loves me anymore. My work no longer interests me, and I often ask myself, ‘What’s the point of living?’”
And the doctor says, “Moth, you’re troubled that’s for sure. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”
And the moth says, “‘Because the light was on.”
The word patio was thought to have been first recorded 1941. This has recently been disproven now that an older draft of the balcony scene in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet has been discovered. It’s dated around 1590 which predates the former by about 350 years.
In this newly discovered draft Juliet is gazing out her balcony window and utters the famous line, “Romeo. Romeo. Wherefore art thou, Romeo?”
Romeo responds in a loud whisper, “Down here. Juliet, down here on the patio. I’m BBQing a couple of burgers.”
But the love-struck and oblivious Juliet continues her monologue. “‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy. Thy art thyself, though not a Montague.” She pauses and sniffs the air. “Is that BBQ I smell?” She peers over the railing.
Romeo says, “Yes. Yes. I take thee at thy word. Call me but love and tell me how you would like it done.”
“Medium, with the bun toasted. But how camest thou hither, and tell me, wherefore? Also, could you add some type of a tomatoey condiment – and hold the onion.”
Romeo blurts out, “Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear by my desire to be near you.”
“Okay. I’ll be right down,” Juliet says breathlessly. “I’ll mix some drinks and we can have cocktails on the patio while I watch you cook.”
And the rest, as they say, is history.